Here was an animated carpet-sweeper, dishwasher, furniture-polisher, general factotum, rising from the factory table - and offering his services as consoler and confidant. (Isaac Asimov - Satisfaction Guaranteed)

When you are programmed to search for "why"? Life is like trying to read a novel written in an alien language - with every other page missing.

Got a camera for Christmas? Fancy yourself a star? Here's some free advice! It helps if you are famous or know someone that is. For more tips, you'll need to buy my bridge ... I mean book. Note. This is just. A list. And humor.

This would be a very interesting "re-re-re-edit". Anyway. As humans, were we "programmed" this way? Or - at some point - did we break our "programming"? I think I developed my own moral and ethical beliefs. But did I?

Saying I'm a "picky eater" is an understatement. But. Except for the fish thing and vegetables - it's less hate and more "meh". Basically my diet is cluck or gobble. Sometimes oink. And cheese. So. Half moo?

I've been overthinking about Data’s bathroom. Toilets in space? How about bidets? So. Two simultaneous questions. One “dual” answer. My bet? It was for the superficial compliments and an announcement about eating a mile of …

Meeting your maker at the hands of something you made? That is the Universe taking the utmost poetic delight in all the “hold my beer” irony it can serve. Chilled. And since I have no friends? My body shalt never be found.

The original MST3K “Turkey Day Marathon” ran from 1991-1995. Movie sign!?! My saddest struggle in life has been “humor”. Since I’ve long abandoned hope of finding someone that would understand it. Let alone laugh at it.

It’s an adding machine. Like the one I begged my grandmother to buy at a garage sale when I was 7. And then took apart. Why? Because that’s what I did. You name it – I dissected it. To see what was inside. And how it worked.

What is artistic inspiration? Is it biological? Is it chemical? Can it be simulated? Does a spider weaving a web create a new pattern by accident? Or as a natural response to stimuli? Perhaps inspiration is a spontaneous “mutation” in the entangled conscious thoughts of the Universe.