Resurrected from a play I wrote in my 20s. I think my essay on the Final Exam would still be essentially the same. But now my answer to the bonus question would probably be "swim" - in a mango flavored, "Harmony Hall" sort of way.

The reasons are many, but for our species to survive - I think it is obvious that half of us will need to go. I guess we can flip a coin or something?

Were we visited by ancient aliens? Who knows? Well, other than von Daniken and Tsoukalos. But this is the best explanation I have as to why the Earth is populated with so many intellectually challenged individuals.

To be honest? I'm not this optimistic. I predict we're on track for a "Night of the Comet" style ending. Just without the "Breakfast Club" meets "Red Dawn" band of misfits. Seriously. Released within 6 months of each other.

Got a camera for Christmas? Fancy yourself a star? Here's some free advice! It helps if you are famous or know someone that is. For more tips, you'll need to buy my bridge ... I mean book. Note. This is just. A list. And humor.

Happy World Puppetry Day! If you accept that we are a random coalescence of atoms in space and time – you still must ponder: can we ever scientifically prove our consciousness originates from INSIDE of us?

Most days THIS is the problem – for the vast majority of people on this planet. Life? It’s not good. It’s not bad. It just “is”. And while I understand far too many humans must struggle everyday to survive for another. I don’t think that’s what will bring about the end of “humanity”.

A secret? The wealthy are not really "in control". They are merely "tools". Their programming – a lust for success – is easily hacked. They become "zombie ants" – toiling in the tunnels, strings unaware – high on their pellets of sugar. Volunteers for heart attack, stroke, suicide. Draftees for scandal, bankruptcy, prison. And simps for retribution, cancellation, elimination – when their usefulness has run dry. As for the marionettists? Work smarter. Not harder.