I'll accept methods of compression with a "conduit". But you'll never convince me that a transporter is anything but the most painful way to die. Although, imagine all the fun pranks you could pull on April Fools Day!

For a brief time I was here - and for a brief time I mattered. (Harlan Ellison)

The problem with speaking in metaphor? What about those times it is just a story with no deeper meaning? Sorry, Scott. Bored with NCIS? How about helping with a "Quantum Leap" reboot or a "Romance, Romance" revival?

I once gave a speech debating the morality of swatting a fly. Sadly, I can now properly empathize with a smooshed bug. Regarding the Borg collective: talking about normal, everyday simple things with someone sounds nice. How do I sign-up?

Part 1: An Assumption. Is a one-sided dressing down really a "talk"? Sometimes my humor can fail to adequately emphasize underlying meaning - making the superficial way too blatant. Sorry.

If it has people, Heaven sounds like Hell to me. Pet afterlife is where I want to go! Which is where my parent's dog went Easter weekend. For my dad? He lost my mom all over again. And it took me a week. To get this.

(b) This is critical in today's world! You don't want a "Somewhere In Time" moment ruining the newly washed and laundered memory areas of your brain! Part, flashback. Part, I think I'm going to need this soon!

Wishes never come true. Or I wouldn't still be here. So. Should these characters be spared eternal comical damnation? The Explorer released from his misery. The Genie released from his curse. And Bo? Released from them both.

Yeah, this one goes into the "funnier in my head" column. Oh, well. But I wonder ... do hearts squish like grapes? At least they're seedless. Anyway. This is my theory on why Guinan introduced prune juice to Worf.

This is a typical "middle of the night" musing. But. Unlike most of mine. This one does make sense. On not too abstract of a level. And. Is kinda funny. If you think about it. And think about it. And think about it ...

Revisiting the Star Trek TOS episode “Patterns of Force”. My Rusyn grandfather was cutoff from his family in historical Zakarpattia in 1938. First Hungary. Next Nazi Germany. Then the USSR. Sacrificed as “peace for our time”.

How would I feel about being reduced to a pile of smoldering goo? Hmm. Well. Compared to the vacuum of space? Being eaten alive? Consumed by parasites? Drained of blood? Transformed into chalk? Yeah. Sign me up!

I've been overthinking about Data’s bathroom. Toilets in space? How about bidets? So. Two simultaneous questions. One “dual” answer. My bet? It was for the superficial compliments and an announcement about eating a mile of …

Wherever you may be – state, district, reservation, territory, diplomatic compound, research station, military base, plane, ship, sub, out-of-country or even in outer space – Happy Thanksgiving America!

Silly Sunday? In a hypothetical Star Trek snowpeopled parallel dimension, would the use of rock salt be the equivalent of a “Varon-T Disruptor”? An inquiring and slightly not-all-really-there mind would like to know.

I don't use any reality "enhancers". Honestly. I swear. I just wondered if "Sesame Street", "Star Trek" and a "See 'n Say" could be combined. Of course, all of this was just an artificial construct, a lame excuse – a setup if you will – to use a "Wilhelm Scream". But to get the full effect, view this "thing" as a minute-sized animation on my YouTube channel: youtube.com/@TheKrumblz

Okay. Just in case some "Star Trek" haters stumble upon THIS – I shall explain. The scene: a morgue. The characters: two coroners named Leonard and James with some random dead guy in a red shirt (it would take awhile to explain that part). Anyway. It's mocking a common refrain from Dr. Leonard "Bones" McCoy to Captain James T. Kirk – "He's dead Jim".

A classic Star Trek scene with just a touch of philosophical "tinkering". Khan Noonien Singh is emblematic of those that overly rely on convergent thinking. A lack of "neural diversity" leads to a stagnant brain structure. It's a recipe for winning all the battles. But losing the war.

All primitive economies are predicated on the movement of goods. And they advance in distinct stages. The earliest revolve entirely around food. To progress to civilization requires agriculture and its surplus. Next industry. Then technology. Can we make the final leap? To a "post scarcity" world.

Ahh. I have a special fondness for this episode. I know where I was and what I was doing when it first aired. Twas the end. Twas the beginning. Twis the question? Hmm. Does the thirty years of knowledge hence gained alter my perspective? Maybe. I should visit the old stomping grounds ...