I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in ... long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. (Bull Durham)

My weirdest baseball story? 1986. Playing Marty Schottenheimer's son, winning the tournament - then getting his autograph. Must. Forget. THE DRIVE. Yes. I mixed sports. That's what makes it weird. And there's more ...

(b) "There's a red moon rising, on the Cuyahoga River, rolling into Cleveland to the lake ... where, you've got a friend in me." An option for the NFL draft, I didn't think I'd use it for the, um, team-to-be-formerly-known as the Indians.

Tom Hanks got his start in Cleveland. At the Great Lakes Theater. And. He dropped out of college … to do what he does. Hence the Woody quote. The title? A Michael Stanley Band song.

Happy 2016! Would I trade another one-win Browns season for another Guardians trip to the World Series? Perhaps. As long as it isn't followed by a zero-win season. Again. Hmm. Actually. Upon further review. I will make that Faustian bargain. Welp. Hello, and welcome to Cleveland, Mr. Applegate ...

Hmm. How predictable? The 1955 musical "Damn Yankees" revolved around the original Senators (now the Twins). But? Cleveland LAST won the World Series in 48. Lost in 54. New York won in 49, 50, 51, 52 and 53. Lost in 55. Then won 11 times after that. I think the Universe owes "The Land".