So, Mr. President. When can we expect your family's companies to start helping with the crisis? What about that Defense "P"-roduction ACT we've heard you talk about?

Everything Donald J. Trump does - or allows to happen - is entirely based on how it benefits him. Family, friends, employees, officials, generals - just simple commodities to be bought and sold on his whim and for his pleasure.

Is "Trippy Thursday" a thing? When's the next meeting for the grand conspiracy to make the President look bad? We can't agree on what a catch is, soda vs pop, or what color a frickin dress is - but this, yeah? We got it. No problem.

Sore throat and cough - normal allergies after cutting the grass on a 90 degree day? Or am I about to be demoted from an insignificant speck to a meaningless statistic? "But you would miss all this", you say. Nope.